hediied replied to your post “I may have agreed to go to a fancy club next weekend with some…”

act really cool I hear that acting vaguely disinterested makes you look cool.

I think this may be why they think I’m cool to begin with? I don’t talk a lot when I am first getting to know people (I wait until people are more invested before I reveal the sheer depths of my dorkyness) so I come off cooler than I am. Apparently I have come off like someone who enjoys fancy clubs.

0 notes


"that boy is really cute" "wait cara arent you a lesbian how can you tell" you know what. youre right. i forgot to put on my HomoSpecs™, which allow me to view all men as grayish blurry blobs. Is that jeremy?? i can’t even tell now that i’m wearing my HomoSpecs™. all men look like the same unattractive indistinguishable gray haze to me because i am homosexual 

(Source: helianthi)

75,467 notes

I may have agreed to go to a fancy club next weekend with some friends. This is a problem. I don’t have fancy club clothes or a fancy club personality. These people seem to be under the impression that I’m cooler than I actually am. 

2 notes


what is this “gay straight alliance”. Whoever said i wanted to be aligned with the straights. i want to Win

13,408 notes
0 notes
  • me: *explaining various sexual orientations to a classmate*
  • classmate: wait, what's polyamory?
  • me: well, it's when someone has more than one intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.
  • professor: *overhears from front of class*
  • professor: that is d i s g u s t i n g
  • me: *defensively* um, actually, no it's--
  • professor: how DARE they put a greek prefix on a latin root like that?! What right do they have to decimate my beautiful antiquated languages?!?! GREEK AND LATIN DO NOT FRATERNIZE THIS IS LIKE THAT STUPID ROMANTIC SUBPLOT BETWEEN THAT DWARF AND THAT ELF IN THE DESOLATION OF SMAUG NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!
  • me: ....
  • me: ....
  • me: ....
  • professor: it should be polyerosy
  • 82,752 notes
    If celery is 90% water, is the ocean 10% celery?


    as a scientist I can confirm that this is definitely how percentages and fractions work, and yes, the ocean is 10% celery, which is why we cannot drink ocean water, for we would choke on the celery

    (Source: vvhaleshark)

    88,695 notes


    I always wanted to be a mutant like the X-men but the closest I could get was being gay. 

    26,844 notes